For to buy a toilet?

 There's nothing more romantic or adventurous than buying a toilet, save perhaps trying by every means possible to preserve those already in your keeping.  I'm a professional woman, but no plumber, and if you had told me on graduation day that fifteen years later I'd be maintaining and replacing toilets on a semi-annual basis, I would have asked what you were smoking!  But that was before I lost my job and had kids and a house and a church to take care of.  As a small church pastor's wife and mom of small kids, there are a lot of things you learn out of necessity, but happily in this day and age we have YouTube, where I can learn everything from toilet repair to new surgical techniques, so when you break the porcelain on your forty year old toilet trying to replace leaky washers you can replace the whole thing instead, now if only we had a YouTube channel for character.

Lately I've discovered Maria Edgeworth, a lady who wrote a little before and around the same time as the famed Miss Austen, and I must say I find both authors quite captivating, mostly because I've yearned for a proper Austen successor for years only to find a contemporary, but her stories are as much worth reading as anything in the Austen canon.  If there was a YouTube to encourage the growth of character and the cultivation of virtue, it would be the writings of Maria Edgeworth.  I haven't read everything, and some of her shorter tales are a little preachy, but overall, and her novels especially, I have really enjoyed as both a story and as a moral lesson and an illumination of various aspects of human character and society.  I often decry the lack of morals of modern man, but reading Maria Adgeworth or Jane Austen reminds me that it is the same in any age of the world, even going back to the biblical book of Judges and Ecclesiastes I should remember that, 'every man does what is right in his own eyes,' and that, 'there is nothing new under the sun.'

It isn't that we live in an exceedingly hedonistic age, that is temporal myopia on my part, but rather most men, no matter the age of the world, prefer dissipation and vice and selfishness and their own pleasure above all things, even the welfare and happiness of their own souls and families.  While it may be necessary to fix or replace a necessary plumbing feature in one's home, it is not so obviously necessitous to cultivate and grow one's own character and virtues.  While  the toilet that is flooding the bathroom is an obvious disaster that must be addressed, how little do we realize the shipwreck that is our own morals and go obliviously onward without evening pausing to muse thereupon?  That is one reason I love Austen and Edgeworth and some of their contemporary authors: they are a mirror we might hold up and examine our own lives and souls, and hopefully that we may address the faults reflected therein.

Some of the recent movie adaptations of these beloved classics get it right while others miss the point entirely, making Pride and Prejudice into merely a romance or chick flick.  How many viewers understand that Elizabeth cast off a 'great catch' because she perceived a glaring personality fault she was sure would doom her to misery in such a marriage?  How many of us act like Lydia, running off with Mr. Wickham at great cost to ourselves and those that love us and then return and boast of our triumph at another's expense without the least notion we did anything wrong?  What won Darcy Elizabeth's affections?  Overthrowing his personal shortcomings and exercising his virtue on her behalf.  Which marriage produced a life of mutual comfort, respect, friendship, love, and joy?  Only that based upon virtue, that invisible glue that holds families and societies together!  How's your plumbing?  Is it time to replace a flapper valve or maybe the whole thing?  It might be time to take a look!     

There can be only One

 I had a dubious flirtation with the Highlander movie and TV show back in the '90s when I was babysitting late and the only other option on TV was Star Trek.  I found the idea interesting and the show promising, but hadn't really thought about it much in the ensuing years, except that infamously cool sounding quote, but found the first season and the original movie on a streaming service so gave it a try.  Strangely I'm having similar qualms about it as I did with Harry Potter and Wheel of Time.  I'm an avid story nut, I used to stay up way too late trying to finish the next chapter if a book or series really captivated me, I went to a random movie I knew nothing about to watch a trailer for 'Return of the King,' I read and reread my favorite books impatiently awaiting the next installment, if something hooks me, I'm determined to finish it out, except in the aforementioned cases.

In all three cases I was hooked by a promising story, interesting characters, intriguing setting, big ideas, humor, wit, fun, adventure, a little romance, a promising exploration of what it means to be human (which is what a story is at bottom!).  But even as I devoured the material, gradually it seemed to grow less wholesome, less nutritious, less tasty and satisfying, I really wasn't savoring it as once I had, but why?  I read through five and a half Harry Potter books and ten twelfths of Wheel of Time before I couldn't stomach any more of these cult classic and beloved tales, but why?  The story began to lag, things grew ever darker, characters and plot began to languish, but most of all the worldview was driving me crazy and all hope seemed dead.  I hate modern lit and dystopian tales like 'Brave New World' and 'Animal Farm' (not that I don't appreciate the moral of the tale, and the role of cautionary tales, but they leave me feeling personally depressed which is probably the point!) for just those reasons (fuzzy worldview and lack of hope).  What little time I have to read, I want to read something that can cultivate hope and kindle virtue in a world that is dark enough at times, and before you accuse me of only liking sunshiny tales wherein the roses never fail to flower, take a look at my favorite book list, Les Mis and A Tale of Two Cities and Lord of the Rings aren't exactly replete with daisies!

Highlander struggles with this as well, everything is dark and drear, death and destruction, without a coherent reason for why things are as they are or a set of rules to which they must adhere or why we don't all just commit suicide and get it over with if this is all life has to offer?  Sort of like liberal visions of utopia: eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we die, except we should probably die today so we don't further desecrate the earth?!  Why are we living?  That's why we love stories: they tell us how and why life is worth living.  I don't love those books because they are happy, happy, happy all the time, rather I slog with Frodo through Mordor because it is the only way to secure hope, if not for himself, then for the world he leaves behind.  We dodge the law with Jean Val Jean in hopes of a brighter dawn for a wretched little girl.  We rot in jail in revolutionary France because there is such a thing as love.  This sort of sacrifice, determination, endurance, strength, patience, courage I can understand, it makes sense, it is within the realm of our understanding, it is coherent within the stated worldview of the work.

Wheel of Time had a coherent worldview within itself, but it just got so bogged down in minor details and subplots that I lost interest.  Highlander and Harry Potter drove me batty as they never explained how or why things happened, they just were that way?  All three were rather melancholy, at least to me, what is there to hope in or long for or sacrifice for or pursue virtue to attain?  Why bother?  Much like this tale we call life, if you have yet to discover the Author and delve into the backstory, the characters, the rules and laws that govern the world, and have peeked ahead at the denouement.  I suppose tales like Highlander and Harry Potter appeal to the vast array of folk that don't have any other tale to explain existence, to give them a reason and a hope, so they cling to whatever they can, such as it is.  What are you clinging to?  Why do you live?  Are there any rules or coherence in your existence?  Have you any hope?  It may be time to find yourself a new favorite Author, to delve into your own fairy story, for therein is Hope indeed!  

Maria Edgeworth, better than Austen?

 Sacrilege, I know, but I think I might actually like Maria Edgeworth a tad better than Jane Austen, though I'm still a diehard fan, perhaps it is just that Edgeworth's characters get out of the house more?  Austen wrote what she knew: the rather confined life of a single woman of limited means in a rural setting, whereas there is a bit more variety in the experiences of Edgeworth's characters, but otherwise there is humor, excellent writing, a celebration of virtue, interesting characters and plot lines, keen social commentary, and piercing insight into the human condition to be found in the works of both authors.  I've looked for Austen's heir for a long time, and am still looking, but happily one of her contemporaries is definitely worth the read, and all their books can be found for free on Gutenberg.org, enjoy!

Hope for those who have exhausted Jane Austen

I had thought there was no hope of finding an author I like as well as Jane Austen, at least in the same genre, place, and time, but I believe one Maria Edgeworth might be just such a worthy lady, though I had never heard of her previously, I have just finished two of her books (Belinda and The Absentee) and found both delightful!  She was a novelist that Miss Austen herself quotes in Northanger Abbey, upon the novel as the pinnacle of literary portrayal of morals, virtue, and human behavior, and I must side with Catherine and say that at least in Maria Edgeworth's novels, that is indeed true.  I had previously read Cecilia, by an authoress who very obviously inspired Austen, but found it long, sometimes tedious, and certainly sensational (Jane makes abundant fun of fainting in her 'Love and Friendship' but it is taken quite seriously in Cecilia!).  The best I can describe is that Edgeworth is like reading Austen, if Miss Austen wrote about scenes and society outside her country manors and genteel society, she possesses an equal depth and breadth of characters, the virtues and vices of society are explored, humor is rampant, and a happy ending lurks just out of sight.  So if you have run out of Austen, give Maria Edgeworth a try!

For all those who aspire to be Miss Austen's heir in the modern era, please read both Austen and Edgeworth thoroughly before you attempt it, make sure you 'get' Austen, it isn't a trashy romance, it is a witty social commentary disguised as a romance!  You can't be Miss Austen's heir without having her manners, virtues, and wit!

Chasing unicorns

I've wanted to get into astrophotography for some time (taking pictures of the night sky and its inhabitants), now that I have a camera that can handle low light conditions, but it was just one of those things that I never got around to.  Then I saw a little article on a comet that is in town for the weekend and decided it was time to dust off my tripod and give it a try.  Happily one of the perks of living in the middle of nowhere is you can actually see the stars without taking a road trip, though there are some rather significant obstructions on the northwestern horizon, at least from my yard, I thought I'd give it a try.  For two nights, I snuck out with my binoculars but to no avail and probably making the neighbors wonder what I was up to at night with my binoculars or camera!  Between said obstructions and low clouds, there was no comet.  I had read somewhere that it would appear right after sunset, and checked diligently every half hour thereafter for two nights and then went and set up camp, ready to take pictures on the third.  The sun set, there wasn't much for clouds, but still no comet!  I gave up on the dream, though I got to see two comets back in 1997, so I figured I knew what I was looking for, especially as this one was said to be less than those, which while interesting, weren't really all that cool to look at.  Instead I turned my gaze and spotting scope to the opposite horizon and did a little planet gazing, as Jupiter, and supposedly Saturn were rather prominent in the night sky as well.

I've never tried star gazing before, I took astronomy back in undergrad, but we never went out and actually looked at the stars, instead we just did more physics problems.  It was amazing to actually see another world (and 4 of its moons!) and then the rings of Saturn, amazing!  While I was busy trying to take a picture through my spotting scope, full dark fell, the stars came out in their myriad hosts, and glancing idly off to the northwest, there it was!  Wow!  I had given up, I was ready and accepting of disappointment, content with nothing or leftovers, but wow!  1997 had nothing on this baby, what a tail!  Then I saw a shooting star, and since I was already out there with all my gear, I finally got around to trying a shot of the milky way, which was actually pretty easy after Jupiter!

No wonder the psalmist proclaims, 'the Heavens declare the glory of the Lord!'  And in another place, 'taste and See that the Lord is good.'  Not just read about or watch on YouTube or inherently know, but rather taste, see, prove with your senses!  A dirty snowball, a lifeless rock, an incendiary ball of gas, all displaying His glory, His wonder, for me!  How much more can I do likewise in the lives of others?  Modern society is too much addicted to passive pursuits, ticking off things on the bucket list, watching it in HD, instagramming it instead of experiencing it.  We've lost our sense of wonder, our sense of humor, our humility, our joy!  We've become old, jaded, bitter, cynical, critical, not the immortal children of a boundless Kingdom as He intends us to be.

A friend of mine just went to Yellowstone for the first time, and gloried in the geological variety around her (she's a rock nerd!), astonished at the busloads of indifferent tourists that merely traipsed by, barely looking at anything, just taking in the requisite scenes and moving on or taking a selfie in front of some wonder or other, filling up most of the frame themselves rather than glorying in the sight itself or giving thanks to its Maker and theirs.  How very sad are such little lives!

May we lose the technology, the cynicism of our age, the hubris that easy access to seemingly limitless knowledge breeds, the jaded indifference of having seen it all, and reclaim the wonder of small children, who are delighted as much by the Morning Glory Pool as with the trash receptacle, who are very heirs to the Kingdom!  Go chase unicorns and dragonflies and rainbows, learn how to laugh, to sing, to dance and not care what anyone else thinks, learn to see the glory all around you, so much so thoughts of your own recede far from you (true humility)!  Lose yourself in the wonders of creation, rediscover your Creator!

Orphan no more!

Here's a great article to read if you just feel 'not good enough,' 'not accepted,' alone or unloveable.  I've been fighting that fight with myself, coming out of an abusive home, trying to convince myself that I am as worthy of dignity, love, and respect, the same as any other person.  Ironically, it goes on to say that God sees us as adopted children, children!  Beloved, accepted, blessed, giving pleasure to their Father!  I'm an adoptive parent of two amazing kids, most days I forget they are adopted, they're just my kids!  I can love and accept them, but I deny myself the same right?  I'm not doomed to ignominy, leftovers, wretchedness, and pity, as my upbringing has convinced me that I am, either in a current physical sense or in my eternal destiny, why can't I wrap my head around that?

He isn't a stingy, miserly, grudging God, it is His good pleasure to give ME the kingdom, really?!  He is excited about it, like a loving parent?  Like me giving my kids stuff they need and desire?  Unlike the mother who bought me Christmas presents because it was socially prescribed and handed me the dreaded birthday present like it was some sort of illicit deal she found degrading and hoped no one would discover the truth thereof, and it was always something she wanted, never anything I had a desire, need, or use for, and then I was never allowed to play with or even look at it, it had to be safely stored in the closet because it was 'collectible.'  I feel like that sums up my whole young life: put it away in a dark corner, where it will eventually fall apart and decay, never having meaning, purpose, or value and never having any enjoyment therein.

Then there's God, and His crazy call to come out of that unwitting tomb, there's more to life than dust and shadows, despair and sorrow and shame.  He made a whole brilliant world to explore and marvel at and delight in.  He sent His only Son to pay the price of sin and rectify the world's ruin, so I don't have to.  He's surrounded me with people, interesting, warm, loving, annoying people to replace the family I never had.  And this is only the beginning, only the title page!  Me?!  The little girl whose own mother didn't love her?  A beloved daughter, a part of a family, heir to a Kingdom?!  Talk about fairy tales, this beats an enchanted frog any day!  And the door is open, shed the orphan's rags and become the child you were meant to be!

Young Author Syndrome?

I recently decided to do a major revision on my early books, a decision a decade in coming, but my writing has improved drastically since then and I want all my writing to shine, not just my latest books, but part of me felt like I was desecrating something sacred, but they need attention so bad!  No changes to the overall story, just smoothing out the choppiness, fleshing out characters and dialogue, and removing bald statements of the obvious, ugh!  Interestingly enough, I found a nice little article on a promising author and found one of her books at the library, hoping I had found Jane Austen's heiress at last, only to find the same problem in her writing as afflicts my own!

Most of my trouble with Jane Austen-wanna-bes is that most are little more than trashy romance novels wearing an Austen cover, though I would love to hear Miss Austen's comments on her so-called successors!  The book I read was neat, clean, and okay.  I wish I could call it great or even good, but it had no sparkle, no depth, no lure to draw me deep and skip two nights of sleep to find out what happens; the characters were shallow and uninteresting, there was a lot of promise but we only skimmed the surface and hastened on to the next plot point without pausing to experience the moment we were in, to explore the nuance and depth of personality and experience and what happens when they collide.  It felt like a chick flick on paper sans the trashy romance.  But there is promise, there are ideas there, that if developed and deepened, with a little practice, could yield wonderful fruit.  I can say the same about my early books.  It is young author syndrome.  And the cure is time and experience, both on an authorial and a personal level.

Write, write, and write some more.  Don't forget to read and read and read again.  And grow, especially as a person, your characters can't have more depth than the one who writes them, so deepen and expand your own character and thereby your fictional ones too!  I couldn't write like I write now back then because I was a shallow, two dimensional figure myself, only in discovering myself, the deepest corners of my haunted soul, could I become both the person and writer I should be.  Now, as a better, deeper person and writer, I'm going to attempt to go back and add depth and wit and whimsy to my original works.  I can't wait to see what this particular author develops into, there is a lot of promise there, but it is merely hinted at in the book I read, but the seeds of greatness are there!

 I think that is why modern people content themselves with trashy romance novels: there is no need for plot, character, or any talent at writing whatsoever, like our modern culture, we live for the moment, the now, for me, for the cheap thrill and shallow relationship.  But this young lady is not settling for that, and it will be exciting to see her continuing development!