Exploring where life and story meet!

Thursday, January 25, 2024

Of all men, most to be pitied

 I was just reading about 'of all men, most to be pitied,' this morning, it was Paul talking about the sad plight of true Christians if there was no resurrection from the dead, but in our enlightened modern age, I think this applies most to the complacent, comfortable, country club church wherein Nice Jesus sits idly by and smiles benignly at all and sundry, sort of like those creepy Ronald McDonald statues that used to sit in a booth at the iconic restaurant.  But then again, Nice Jesus didn't rise from the dead, he came preaching love and tolerance and niceness, acceptance of everything and everyone, that everybody should be happy and always get along, or at least pretend to.  He wears sandals and maybe sunglasses, has a perfect smile and long hair, maybe even a tie-dye shirt and he is most definitely an upper middle class white guy, probably a younger, hipper version of Santa Claus.

There is no grunge, no offense, no blood, no righteous judgement, no hatred of sin, no poverty or hunger or exhaustion, no suffering or grief, nothing real or gritty or relatable except to the socially comfortable with their own inane grins and social media perfect lives, as vapid as their facial expressions.  If Nice Jesus was a true friend of sinners, but he's only a Facebook friend, he'd want to help them out of the quagmire of their sin, but he's more of a drug dealer or a shallow acquaintance who doesn't want to be bothered by someone else's problems: he'd rather pretend everything is okay and enable you in your wretchedness.  We'll just change our perception of the reality, though nothing actually changes, we just all think the Emperor has some nifty clothes.

But the culture is dumping Jesus altogether, be he Nice or Real.  You can't be a comfortable Christian any longer, individuals and whole churches need to decide who they are going to follow, what they are going to believe.  Nice Jesus isn't culturally acceptable anymore, Real Jesus has never been.  So if you are going to suffer for the Name, it had better be for the Real thing, otherwise you most certainly deserve pity because Nice Jesus isn't going to save anybody, but the Real Jesus came precisely for that.  He came into our mess, our disaster, our sin and death, grief and sorrow, and He embraced it fully, God became Man, became Flesh, for us!  He doesn't want to smile benignly while we destroy ourselves and His creation with our rampant sin and selfishness, rather He invites us to embrace His cross, our own destruction, that we ourselves and the world might be saved through Him, rather than smiling benignly as we rush joyously into eternal destruction.  Nice Jesus will sit there smiling benignly as you burn, whereas Real Jesus stands in the fire with those that are truly His.  The cultural fire is heating up, who are you going to choose?

Saturday, December 16, 2023

The Requisite Christmas Song Post (with another pirate guest blogger)!

 So someone else beat me to the punch this year, but happily he didn't write about the musicality of the season.  Check out his article on the storied ghosts of Christmas here, much recommended!  I know Charlie Brown really tried to get the true meaning of Christmas, but it's depressing.  I know the Grinch hinted at it, but the roast beast just doesn't cut it.  Even my local Christian radio station seems to be missing the boat, literally playing things like "Let it snow' and "It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas" endlessly but ignoring the many great sacred classics save an occasional instrumental nod from the Trans-Siberian Light Orchestra, at least there's no Santa Baby, that's a plus, right?  It sounds more like a seasonal mall sound track than anything else, especially a Christian station at Christmas!  While I don't mind that stuff, sadly, like Charlie Brown, I am more than a little frustrated with our whole culture focusing on the tinsel and the glitz and ignoring the glaring ache that this season entails for many.  It seems we can either be insipidly happy or alone in our grief which often manifests as anger towards the season in its entirety.

But if you hate Christmas because you hurt, you aren't alone!  It is a problem native to all humanity, not just the modern post-christian west, our problem is the same as the ancient pre-christian east or even the insipidly pseudo-christian America of our nostalgic recollection.  While Charlie Brown thinks he hankers after that nostalgic, idyllic ghost of Christmases past, there is no such history, no such reality, because that has never been what Christmas has been about nor is it the ache that haunts his heart like Marley in Ebenezor's bed chamber.

Many of the secular Christmas haters are happy to proclaim that Jesus wasn't really born on December 25th and that we're simply recycling an old pagan holiday, and I'm most happy to agree with them, and their point is?  Men have always been religious, keenly interested and much afeared of the supernatural, at least until our materialistic modern age with its electric lights to forever drive off the dark of superstition and the utter night of ignorance, thinking we are quite something, as if we invented the physics behind the phenomenon, content in our assumption that it 'just happened,' and never questioning the Light behind our light and little realizing that by blinding their own eyes thereby, they are now the ignorant!  That is why we demand a Light in the darkness, and celebrate its coming at the darkest time of the year, not because we know Jesus was born on that particular day but rather that His coming at the appointed time relieved the spiritual darkness in which the whole world languished and we celebrate the fact as his first coming at the darkest time of the year.

But our problem is we forget why we celebrate His coming, yay a baby, a light of the world, but why is that significant?  His birth, while miraculous and marvelous and bright, is nothing, does nothing, rather it is His sinless life, His atoning death, and His conquering of death and darkness and sin forever by rising again to new life that we can sing and rejoice and make merry this time of year and all the year long!  But we'd rather sit with our glitz and jingle, aching inside, making merry without, and wondering why we can't be happy when everybody else seems to be as well.

This is where the great sacred Christmas hymns come in, look past the first well known verse or chorus or the haunting instrumental and delve into the depth, the mystery, the sorrow, the joy, the meaning of this babe's incarnation, the very word made flesh.  Only therein can we find meaning and true joy in this paradoxical season of utmost joy and aching loneliness and unrelenting sorrow, only in Him can all find their true 'comfort and joy.'  Santa and Grinches are fine and fun, but let us not forget the true meaning behind it all!

Monday, August 28, 2023

A modern classic?

 I have a very hard time finding new books, especially by modern authors.  Usually the stories are utterly predictable, the characters forgettable, the dialogue unremarkable, the humor vapid, the writing wan, and the moral of the tale nonexistent.  Or worse, it's a literary depiction of things best left behind closed doors solely betwixt those involved, who knew Jane Austen's heirs would stray so far from the fold, ugh!  But as I was browsing through the never ending Pinterest feed, I came across a '15 hilarious books for your book club' post, not being a huge fan of book sites, for some reason I gave it a chance.  I looked each one up in our virtual library app to see what they had.  I had already seen the movie for the first book, and it wasn't bad.  Bridget Jones made the list and I detest the movie, so I was starting to get antsy but I persisted and found a couple likely and available prospects.  I checked out 'Eleanor Oliphant is Fine' and began to read.  It is more than a little eerie when you are reading about a fictional person's life and all you can think is that it's your own!

That's one reason I really like the Blue Castle by LM. Montgomery, as I readily identify with its stifled little mouse of a heroine.  Now there's Eleanor with her Tolkien-esque last name and the socially prescribed adjective.  I like a book that can handle delicate and terrible social issues with both charity, patience, understanding, and humor without wallowing in either despair or the grotesque while still taking a swing at various overlooked social and cultural ills/trends that we either take for granted or ignore entirely.  This book is heart wrenching but also gut-wrenchingly funny, with a very arch Austen sort of wit, not much really 'happens' but you can't put it down because it unfurls little by little, as a good book aught, until you are left hopeful and smiling with a tear in your eye.  The characters aren't really much to look at or read about, they aren't beautiful or handsome or rich or witty, they are just everyday people with everyday tragedies struggling through an indifferent and hostile world, save the golden threads of kindness found unexpectedly in the strangest souls and oddest places.  A glowing reminder that humanity has not completely lost its heart even if society has lost its head and in that we can still find hope.  But we need real human interaction and relationship to do it.

As a survivor of a twisted and cruel mother who portrays the perfect parent to the world, I can say the character of Eleanor was written so well that I wonder how the author came to know so much about so forbidden a topic in a world and culture that is quick to blame the child in such an instance.  My situation was hardly as horrific as Eleanor's but sadly it might be even more tragic, because no one knows what is going on, even the afflicted, few are those that escape from this dreadful sort of 'normal.'  We are fine, we are fed and clothed, and we are fine, but we aren't.  The despair, the self-hatred, the utter loneliness, the wish to both punish yourself for simply existing and the wish for the suffering to end makes self-harm and suicide very real dangers.  The author tackled these issues with a dexterous and master hand.  The overriding commentary about widespread loneliness in society and that there is something we can do about it is also a welcome voice in the wilderness.  Overall a well written and well handled modern novel, well worthy of the classic writers the author obviously enjoys.  Finally a modern book about what it means, at least in part, to be human!

Wednesday, August 23, 2023

Thursday, August 17, 2023

Good enough for her!

 I just realized I have a problem.  I needed some decent muffin pans, but that was only a symptom.  Just for the heck of it I checked out nordic ware, I have a bundt and specialty bread pan (both acquired second hand for mere dollars) that I absolutely love and wondered if they had anything affordable.  It appears they are having a clearance sale on their Treat line of baking accessories and all their pans are a very decent price and you get free shipping if you spend $50.  Instead of a single muffin pan, I ended up with two (12 muffins each too!) plus a cookie sheet, a loaf pan, and two 9" cake pans for $50!  I actually bought some high quality bakeware and am really excited about it.  What's the problem?  I guess I'd call it 'good enough for her' syndrome.

I have been married 17 years, I am an avid baker, I am on a special diet that requires I bake all my own bread and everything else and since it is gluten free, it can be fussy and unappetizing, good quality pans make all the difference for certain recipes and I have literally been using bakeware like my great grandmother's cookie sheets, a couple cheap aluminum cake pans from the thrift store, a couple pyrex glass loaf pans that were a wedding gift, and a set of silicone muffin cups for years.  It worked, why spend extra money we don't have on something I don't absolutely need?  When for $50 I can basically outfit my entire kitchen!  Yes, buying a $59 bundt pan with little hearts all over it would be ridiculous but a $10 heavy duty cookie sheet I'll use twice a week for three decades?

I had the same problem when I was first diagnosed with severe food sensitivities.  I spent a year paralyzed with fear and despair, eating I'm not sure what and still feeling sick.  I never even thought to try gluten free baking or anything else, thinking it wasn't worth it, that I wasn't worth it, or maybe that I didn't deserve it.  It wasn't until my son came down with a wheat intolerance that I started playing with it for his sake and discovered just how much I missed baking and that it was most definitely worth my while to learn to take care of myself.  But even after that lesson, I still struggled on with a chronic though usually subclinical case of 'good enough for her.'

I caught it from my family of origin, where I was more an intruder or a burden than a child.  I had my corner to sleep in (literally a single bed lower bunk in a room with my sister though neither of us was allowed any personal space beyond our bed, the rest of the room was Hers (my mother)), I had food to eat and clothes to wear and that was all I needed so I should just shut up, be quiet, and don't get in the way or embarrass people by existing, and if I even thought about complaining about anything, she'd happily threaten to make me live in the street, which did wonders for my sense of security in the family!  Every Christmas and Birthday were the same, everyone bought me collectible dolls that she enjoyed and immediately took possession of, and if I questioned it, I was called selfish and ungrateful.  Why couldn't I just sit on the couch and shut up while my cousins and brother played with their toys and ate their candy; what was wrong with me?  I quickly learned to stay out of sight, to cope with my own problems, to live without any sort of resources or support, to think my own needs selfish, and to highly undervalue my own accomplishments.

My mother should have sold questionable used cars or timeshares or something, she really could spin to the world that she's a great mother and if anything is lacking in the children, well it is their fault and they undoubtedly deserve it.  My sister-in-law is still convinced it wasn't abuse because I was fed regularly, knowing her background, I understand her perspective, but she's fully imbibed my mother's spiked kool-aid and she thinks I'm awful because I don't appreciate my childhood.  Probably the best example of my mother's cunning is the curious case of the precious pans fiasco.  When I went to grad school and finally got my own ghetto apartment, she gave me all the odds and ends and junk cookware that can usually be scrounged from various female relations, including my recently deceased great grandmother, whose cookie sheets I am still using!  And while I appreciate her outfitting my barebones kitchen, she didn't spend a penny on anything new or used for me or part with anything she even remotely liked, but it was a great excuse to update her own cookware, and I was perfectly okay with that.

I could use those old beat up pans just fine on my old beat up stove to make macaroni and cheese or to boil eggs.  She got them as a wedding gift, so they were 20+ years old, stuff tended to burn to the bottom no matter how much you stirred or used oil or extra liquid, the handles were falling off, some lids were missing, the bottoms weren't flat, and they were a bear to clean, but it worked for a broke college student who wasn't a culinary genius.  Then came Christmas and both my uncle and my brother congratulated me most heartily on the wonderful gift bequeathed me by my mother.  I was speechless for a good five minutes wondering what they were smoking or if I was dreaming, because I really couldn't place what they were talking about.  Those pans, those fabulous pans!  I must look like an ungrateful wretch to them because when I finally figured out they were exuberant over my mom's old junk pans she was eager to update, I really couldn't say they were all that great but they were better than nothing.  What a silver tongue that woman must have!  Those pans, those fabulous pans are certainly 'good enough for her' and she made moral bank even in getting rid of something she knew to be junk.

This is the woman who owns three expensive quilting machines and has never made a quilt.  She's the chick who owns an expensive car she never drives.  To her it is all about perception, most especially controlling other people's reality.  Including telling her own daughter she is worthless, horrible, ungrateful, stupid, an embarrassment, selfish, and uncouth.  And bless my childish little heart, part of me still believes her!  Our whole culture preaches nothing but 'buy X because you are worth it' or 'buy Y and you will be amazing' but I knew innately that nothing would ever make me worthwhile, deserving of anything but the dregs of life and I hated myself for it.  But it was all a lie, just like the persistent advertising.

Then I met this crazy person that said I was not only an intrinsically valuable person simply for being a human being, but that I was also a princess, an heiress to galaxies, a veritable child of God.  When my own earthly family treated me like an intruder, an outcast, a stranger, here was the most important Being ever that's like, 'don't mess with my kid!'  And having gone through the adoption process, I appreciate how painful, tedious, and messy it can be, and here was God, telling me He wanted to adopt me, me!  I still struggle with 'good enough for her' syndrome, as it has been hammered into my soul from the earliest age, but I'm learning what a true, good Father is like, what it is to be a valued member of a family, to be safe and accepted and loved for who I am not despised for what I'm not.  So bring on the pans, or whatever else I need but am ignorant of, a true blessing from my beloved Father to His very astonished little girl!

Tuesday, July 18, 2023

Rise of the Lukewarm Materialists

 While the world seems to trumpet the decline of Christianity in the modern west, I'd argue it is merely the decline of 'christianity' or as C.S. Lewis would put it, the decline of 'christianity and...' or perhaps the endangerment and extinction of the lukewarm lutheran.  I don't think America was ever truly a Christian nation, was it founded on Christian thought, morals, and philosophy, certainly, but I don't know if it has ever been a 'christian nation' and it really doesn't matter, because the Kingdom of Heaven has never been and will never be of this world, it wasn't when old Rome was at its height nor America in its decline or even Israel at any time in history.  The idea that any temporal nation can equate with or compete with the eternal and incorruptible Kingdom of God is ridiculous.  Should christians work to make their communities and countries a better, more 'christian' environment and culture, certainly, but to mourn the death of something that never existed is ridiculous or to despair because we now live in a more culturally secular age is preposterous, such has been the state of the earthly church since its inception: we are outcasts, pariahs, laughingstocks, those who believe in things unseen and rejoice in the foolish things of the world, lunatics, strangers, aliens, and foreigners to the world and culture of our birth.  The first disciples were accused of turning the world upside down, but rather they were setting it right side up.  The church will always be upside down and backwards to the prevailing earthly culture, no matter where or when, that is its very nature.  Christ would not have come from outside our reality to save us if salvation could be contrived from within by human efforts, ergo His kingdom will also be something outside our current understanding of what a country is.

Until the end of the 1990s or perhaps the early 2000s it was still culturally okay to identify as culturally Christian, most people did so just to blend in or find cultural acceptance or because they weren't Hindu or Jewish or because grandma was, no matter their personal beliefs or practices.  It didn't mean anything then and it doesn't mean anything now, the only difference is that now it isn't safe or acceptable to identify as Christian.  Instead, the conformists are migrating over to other causes, trends, movements, and organizations.  The heart of christian belief and practice hasn't changed in 2000 years but our current culture has moved on from identifying such as 'normal' or 'acceptable' rather now identifying that same belief and practice as 'fundamental extremism' or 'whatever-phobic' or 'myopic and dangerous.'  The church hasn't changed, rather society's perception thereof has done a complete 180.  Society finally figured out that this horse wasn't going to get them where they wanted to go, so they dismounted and found a new ride.  Any other cause can be used as a means to an end, to get you wherever you want to end up, but the true church will never be a means to an end, that doesn't mean people won't try, but eventually they'll figure out it is an express train going somewhere very particular not a horse one can whip and kick and rein around to suit one's own whims.

So all those mediocre, lip-service 'christians' have jumped ship.  Proclaiming themselves 'nones' or whatever and the world rejoices at this sudden decline in the church, only it really isn't a real decline.  We're losing dead weight, the people that were only here for themselves and their personal endeavors not for the good of others or the kingdom of God.  The people who contributed nothing and demanded everything be done exactly their way and who caused 95% of the problems.  If I was the world, I wouldn't be celebrating this mass migration but rather dreading it ending up weighing down any and every other cause, trend, or organization.  These same folks are going to be joining ranks with the rainbow alphabet and the climate change enthusiasts among many another cause or belief or organization.  They'll demand attention and resources and that everything be done their way or they'll make a fuss about it and cause strife within the ranks.  Good riddance!

The church is getting into fighting trim, the fetters are falling off and the labyrinth of people pleasing has fallen down.  While public opinion is against us, at least there will be less squabbling amongst ourselves!  In Revelation Jesus warns people to be hot or cold towards Himself, not lukewarm, lest He spit them out of His mouth and that's exactly what is happening.  And all these loafers, hangers-on, and parasites are going to be seeking something else to fill that void.  World beware, they are coming your way! 'Rejoice O Heavens and ye who dwell in them, but woe to you oh earth and sea, for the Devil has come down to you in great wrath for he knows his time is short...'