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Thursday, April 17, 2014

The strange joy of self torture

In the Song of Songs, the biblical version of a romance novel, a word of caution is twice repeated, 'do not arouse or awaken love before its time.'  Basically, the setting is a man wooing a woman, and the woman is being advised not to stir up her physical and emotional desires until the time is appropriate, namely, after the wedding.  This is good advice, regardless of whether you are pursing romance, a career, a family, a fortune, an awesome car, owning your own home, an education, or what have you.  For some reason, the modern psyche thinks it necessary to continually pine and mourn over what ever idol we so desperately need at the moment and cannot possibly live without and we are not happy until it is ours but once we have it, our  hearts then long for the next 'necessary' thing.  We are not content to do our part in seeking it, pray about, and then wait patiently, content with whatever is to come, but rather we complain constantly to our real and virtual friends, we read about it constantly or watch TV or whatever indulges our anticipation, and it is ever and always before and there is no peace in our hearts or joy in our lives.  I am as guilty as anyone in this respect, wanting desperately to start a family and everyone you know is pregnant is an awkward and painful place to be.  Constantly reading parenting books, baby magazine, and visiting baby websites only rubs salt in the wound.  Rather, I should have focuses my time and attention elsewhere, used it for the benefit of others rather than indulging in my own vain mourning and impatience.  There is much wisdom in the statement, 'godliness with contentment is great gain.'

Learning to be content wherever we are and whatever we have (or lack) is one of the great secrets to peace and joy.  Learning to trust in the One who has promised to give us all needful things (though whether His idea of what we need and ours coincides is another matter entirely) is what this mortal life is all about.  The sooner we learn to trust, the sooner we will find that, 'peace that passes understanding.'  I am not saying to sit idle, pray, and hope all things will work out, but neither should we despair of gaining what our hearts truly desire.  Do what you know should and can be done (fill out an application, start the adoption process, whatever), but do not drive yourself crazy pining away for something that in the end, really will not make you as fulfilled and happy as you think.  While you wait you will find peace in your heart and joy in other things, and in the end, either you will attain the desire of your heart and be able to enjoy it and appreciate it as a true blessing or you will discover that you can live quite happily without it, finding other joys and blessings besides.  Even Jesus endured this strange mortal affliction, begging the Father, that if possible 'that this cup might pass from Me,' but in the end, 'Thy will be done.'  And as Paul states, 'he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.'  The good news is, we shall never be asked to die to save all humanity, but God calls each of us to die to ourselves that we might truly live.  Giving up our mortal hopes and desires, at least giving up making them the focus of our lives, is part of that 'dying to self' process.  And He will give us strength and joy to fulfill whatever it is He truly wants us to do with our selves and our lives; His plans are far better than anything we could even begin to imagine.  So this Easter, cast down your idols and follow the example of He who died that we might live.

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