Life lessons from a 'kid's' movie?!

I was eleven when Disney’s ‘Beauty and the Beast’ came out and I was in love with it from the first. Now Disney Princess fetishes are not at all uncommon amongst modern girls, it may actually be an approved alternative lifestyle choice for all I know, but back then (1991) the phenomenon didn’t exist, not that I was the ‘princess’ type, preferring to climb trees to hosting a tea party any day, but it was not for love of princesses that I adored the movie, and still do. I have long pondered my fascination with the movie, most girls outgrow such infatuations, but I never have. I still enjoy ‘The Little Mermaid’ and ‘Aladdin’ which are from the same era, but nowhere near so much. Every time I watch it, I still wonder what is it that sticks with me, though 25 years and a whole lifetime have passed in the interim?

First, I was taken from the first with the heroine: a spunky, independent girl who was still gentle, considerate, and kind, not lacking in courage or virtue, but was completely misunderstood and underappreciated by her community and even her well-meaning father. I was that girl, though my eleven year old mind could not comprehend such a concept at the time, but I felt for that girl’s plight as I felt for my own: trapped in a world not of your own making, with dreams and aspirations that others sneered and laughed at with no one to turn to for understanding or escape, save perhaps a book.

Second, it is a tale of brokenness, mistakes, and finally redemption, one of those rare stories that show characters with the flaws and idiosyncrasies that make us indelibly human, yet also gives us hope to rise above our current circumstances. It shows the true meaning of love: a willingness to sacrifice everything for the sake of the beloved, rather than the shallow infatuation and lust we often mistake for it in these strange modern days. It shows that no matter how grim or dark your circumstances, there is hope and a morning unlooked for beyond the longest night. It shows that people can change for the better, that love can triumph over evil and death, but only if we let it. It also proves what happens when we refuse to change, to look within ourselves and see the flaws as well as the better parts. Most of all, it shows that what really matters is our heart, not our flimsy physical exterior.

Third, it teaches us that ‘happily ever after’ does not come by sitting idly by and waiting for our fairy godmother to make all our dreams come true. It takes hard work, the risk of failure and uncertainty, and a willingness to change and work on our own flaws and inconsistencies. Gaston felt he deserved the best and was baffled when Belle did not share that opinion, and not learning his lesson, his arrogance led to his downfall even when offered mercy and a second chance. Belle herself was surprised to discover that inside the ferocious and horrid beast lurked a great heart, now malleable and gentle under the softening influence of love.

Fourth, and this is peculiar to my own situation, is that it is possible to escape a narcissist. Belle had her Gaston, and I had my mother. Again, my eleven year old sensibilities could not possibly comprehend such a concept at the time, but as an adult who has only recently awakened to the fact that she was abused as a child by the person who should have loved her best, it is a bittersweet revelation. As it was Belle’s devotion to her beast that rescued her, so it was with my own little family that I was able to shed the chains of a lifetime of abuse and misperception. When Gaston offered to marry her, she knew it would lead to a lifetime of hurt and heartache, though the whole village thought her mad, she did a very brave thing and refused him. So too, did I find the strength to say, ‘this is not right,’ and move on with my life.

For a simple cartoon, this story packs quite a wallop when it comes to showing life and human nature as it truly is, especially to those who feel trapped in a world that does not appreciate or understand them or that all is fickle, shallow, and vain about them. In our age of social media, where relationships are flimsy at best, it is almost prophetic in its message of the importance of deep and real relationships in a world of vanity and falsehood. It is one of those rare works of art that give us the courage to be who we were meant to be and dares us to be comfortable in our own skin, clinging to what we know is right, despite the consequences: a breath of fresh air in a world of fickleness and egotism.