A perfect life?

Do you ever read a story (or look at somebody else's life) and wish you could merge it in with another story (or even your own life)?  Do you stare with envy at what others have or do, desire some movie plot to be your own, or think a certain fictional character has an ideal life?  If you are breathing, you have done this; if you are a book or movie fan, you have probably also idealized the world of fiction, and if you are on Facebook, it is unavoidable.  Yes, the lovely, the perfect, the wonderful happens to everyone (including people who don't really exist) else but never to us, except all your Facebook friends are drooling with envy over whatever ideal manifestation of 'the perfect life' you just posted therein.  For some reason, we are blind to our own blessings and to the imperfections, trials, and banes of everyone else when the truth is, every life (and story) is a mix of 'bane and blessing, pain and pleasure (by the cross are sanctified') or so goes the old hymn.  Every life has its sorrows, joys, loves, disappointments, tediums, and griefs.  This is what makes life interesting, it is what makes it livable.  We are in neither a state of perfect contentment and bliss nor in one of utter and hopeless despair.  There are seasons of joy and sorrow with tedious intervals between, yet we seem to think that everyone but us lives only in the season of Joy, untouched by sorrow or the mundanity of day to day life.

Of course the fictional hero must suffer grief and loss only to overcome it magnificently (or fail in the attempt) which is undoubtedly the plot of every book ever written, at least before this confused modern era; a good story teller leaves out the tedious stuff unless it is necessary to the plot (when was the last time you met a fictional heroine that ever took out the trash?).  So fiction is a poor substitute for real life; a fine compliment but not a replacement.  No one puts failure on Facebook and too many people put tedium up and we somehow mistake it for Joy (Bob made chicken Parmesan for lunch, I wish I could be like Bob, he undoubtedly has a great life because he can cook…my life sucks, but I have a cat!  I will show Bob and the world (evil laughter)!).  I don't care what your cat just did that was SOOO cute, does the world really need to know his every move?  Judging from the volume of cat videos on the internet, sadly the answer is yes.  I wonder if the Romans saw an exponential increase in amusing cat anecdotes among the bards and gossips of the day just before the collapse of the Empire?  Maybe part of the problem is that we are so determined to find meaning in everything that we have forgotten what true meaning is or perhaps we are so desperate to keep up with those around us that we turn everything into, 'an event.'

It seems like everyone we know is pregnant (why do babies only come in herds?) which of course has led a certain person who shall remain unnamed to wonder if another kid or three mightn't be nice which of course leads to thoughts like, 'why not me?' and 'what about us?'  I forget to celebrate the joy of our friends and family and only indulge my own self-pity which in turn leads to feelings of resentment and even sadness whenever the burgeoning new family member is mentioned, which is absolutely ridiculous because someone else's state of fecundity (or lack there of) has absolutely no bearing on my own, save perhaps as a reminder which then triggers the negative thoughts which are completely self-inflicted.  Rather, we should 'rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn,' regardless of our own circumstances; we are called to forget for a time our own petty worries and fears and focus on the wellbeing of those around us.  This self-forgetfulness, which is the essence of true humility, is a breath of fresh air from all the me-centric gobbledygook that passes for culture in the West; to tell the truth, I am not all that interesting so if I am the center of my universe, it is a rather small, tedious, and shabby place indeed!  But if there is Something much bigger than myself at the center and all other selves are simply little stars and comets flitting about this vast Personality, then it is a cosmos of boundless interest, meaning, and depth.  Feeling impotent, useless, and pathetic?

Quit staring at your feet and look to the heavens, or better yet, ask your neighbor, friend, or relative about their joys, sorrows, hopes, and fears.  Reconnect with humanity, remember another soul to find your own; forget that social media even exists and really get to know someone, not their stats or imaginary life.  Maybe they'll return the favor!  Your life is not more (or less) interesting than theirs or less (or more) meaningful.  Neither is God a respecter of persons; He loves you just as you are and asks you to do the same (for Him and your fellow man).  Quit trying to make yourself feel more important, significant, or loved (by others, yourself, and God) by pretending to be something you are not and don't make yourself miserable by drawing silly conclusion about the lives of others in comparison to your own.  You are 'fearfully and wonderfully made,' He cannot love you more and will not love you less; we are called to do the same with ourselves and our fellow men.  This is the 'truth that makes you free,' and the heart of that pithy saying, 'sing like no one is listening, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like no one is watching.'  Forget yourself and live!  Comparison is a poison that will rot the soul but compassion is the essence of life well lived.