Thy dross to consume

I did not want to do it, no please, anything but that!  I had done it fifty times before, but the last two times had not succeeded as I had hoped and my confidence was shaken.  But there I was, in the moment with no other options.  It had to be done.  I prayed desperately for some miracle but to no avail.  So I swallowed my dread and got on with it.  And everything turned out just fine.  

I had found my miracle, though not the one I was looking for.  Sometimes what we think is the best route (often avoiding something unpleasant or frightening) is not actually what we need the most.  I was doubting my abilities in this one area which resulted in dissatisfaction and discouragement with much of my job and even in parts of my personal life.  I needed what I dreaded most.  I had to risk failure in order to grow, gain back my confidence, and get out of the mediocrity into which I was plunging.  It was a test of faith (albeit a rather minor one) but it was what I desperately needed at the moment though I was desperate for some escape or release.  I am minded of the old hymn, How Firm a Foundation. 

 

"Fear not, I am with thee, O be not dismayed,
For I am thy God and will still give thee aid;
I’ll strengthen and help thee, and cause thee to stand
Upheld by My righteous, omnipotent hand.

 

When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
The rivers of woe shall not thee overflow;
For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless,
And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.

 

When through fiery trials thy pathways shall lie,
My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply;
The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume, and thy gold to refine."

 

 

So the next time you find yourself in a tight or terrifying place, perhaps it is for the best and for our own good and the good of those we love and associate with.  I am glad there is Someone out there that knows more about me than I do and has my best interests at heart, even if I do not know what they are at the moment!